i have decided to try on a new diet. not a diet to lose weight and then resume eating "normally" after target weight is reached, but a diet in the traditional sense of the word: a regulated eating regimen.
i will look at food more as necessary nutrients instead of tasting good and emotionally satisfying. i hope to get into a new habit where most of my food consumption is concerned..i want to cut out hydrogenated oils as much as possible and add nuts, fruit and veggies to the snacking menu.
so that means, away with my daily peanut butter m&ms. *sob* among other things, but so far, that's the most important...the one i will be craving the most.
i am hoping i will be able to quit with coffee as well. i don't know what i am trying to do with my life right now, shooting myself in the foot with the coffee thing, maybe? guaranteeing a fail? i mean, it's pretty obvious that if i cut out my peanut butter m&ms, i am going to be super crabby..why would i want to add strain with removing coffee?
because it's gone back to the habit it was before, three cups a day..when one was the ideal, the goal. i just let myself slip. i knew i was doing it and i did it anyway. so, perhaps i am just not responsible enough with coffee and must just get rid of it entirely.
*double sob*
this is just one big sob story.
yet, eating peanut butter m&ms and drinking three cups of coffee everyday will one day make my heart lurch within my chest, strain itself beyond all natural means, stop beating causing immense pain and most likely end my life.
my life for peanut butter m&ms. something says, nay. something says, you've gotta be kidding. someONE says, what a silly thing to die for, yourself, your small little wants, your lack of self-discipline which has permeated the ________, __________, and _________ areas of your existence. tsk, tsk.
yea, something tells me it is time to get on the temperance bandwagon, time to walk the talk.