i am mentally taxed today. i've been fighting off panic clutches all day, to do with my breathing..or better put to do with my thoughts about my breathing. i was so certain that i wasn't getting enough air.
it's those little thrills in my arms, that kind of sudden realization that you are in trouble. i am determined to harness this energy without drugs, but it is very hard to be constantly thinking logical combative thoughts. i just want to breathe free, be..
but then again, i'd probably fill my mind with other shit, anyway. heh.
i was busy, of course. idle hands and all that jazz. i pinned one pillowcase and finally sewed another. for ease of washing i sewed only three sides shut and then attatched elastic cord to the open side. i don't think it looks that great, though..so i'm going to replace it with an opensided hem (i know there's another name for it, but i can't think of it at the moment!) and some nice cord. one day!
i also did some hemming and pinning for more hemming tomorrow. loads of laundry - still not done - and some other work.
i've just finished watching a program called, there's a spiritual solution to every problem the wisdom of one dr. wayne dyer. i do believe i will see if my library has a copy of it on audio tape. the spiritual quest continues.
tomorrow morning, dr. appointment for firm diagnosis and treatment plan.