ugh.
i feel like shit, my back aches like hell again. just thought i would share that particular tidbit of information.
i'm going through a no motivation funk, i dusted off the scale to find out i am 154lbs, i can't seem to finish painting stuff, things i make seem to break easily...
things are just not going very well. add to that my ever present dry spiritual desert and i'm ready to call it quits.
i'm feeling guilty, wouldn't you know. guilty that i haven't written that bloody letter to guilt yet..it knows it's owed this letter, see. guilty that i haven't been very interesting or nice to my fellow house people. guilty at my weight. guilty for not exercising because, dammit, i'm gonna kill myself if i don't get a flippin routine started. guilty for eating out three days in a row instead of going grocery shopping.
i've had this recurring pain in my lower tummy, just above my c-section scar for the past 8 months to a year..turns out, it might be something called, endometrioma, which is basically incurable, though not life threatening, but can cause a bunch of pain -which it has done, especially last month. leave it to me to wait to the last minute. some sort of surgery is in my future to remove these things, but first i must get another ultrasound done (tomorrow) to give the surgeon a more specific view of them.